Being self-disciplined is a major representation of self love. You are doing what is best for you and your happiness even if it’s difficult.
This post is for the person who needs the push to be disciplined rather than motivated. If you are working towards a goal, and worry if you’re doing things right… just show up and let God/the Universe/your higher power do the rest.
I am currently on this journey of becoming a more self disciplined person to finally make some changes in my life, it’s not easy but I’m not going to give up and neither will you.
Be disciplined, not motivated.
You’re not always going to be motivated, but you can make the decision to be disciplined. Love yourself so much that you are willing to put in the work to better yourself. Instead of just complaining about your unhealthy habits, take the action to make the change. You really have to be your own parent in a sense. Just like when you were younger, your guardian made sure you woke up in time for school even when you were so tired and didn’t want to go. Now, it’s your turn to “parent” yourself and make yourself change your unhealthy habits.
I understand why for many people it can be so difficult to be self-disciplined. Some individuals were raised with structure, routine and healthy habits; but like many people I did not. Everyone is different and there are many who end up very self-disciplined despite growing up in a dysfunctional family, but I know there are many people suffering the consequences of being raised without structure. If you find yourself struggling with self-discipline, reflect on your childhood and the habits your guardians implemented. For example, as a child I was always rushing for school, I would wake up with only time to get dressed. Now as an adult I still struggle with waking up with enough time to accomplish my ideal morning routine. I don’t let this excuse my lack of discipline but it is good to know why it’s so easy for me to fall into certain unhealthy patterns. Find the root cause and have some compassion for yourself, you didn’t learn these habits out of nowhere and it’s not going to be easy to unlearn habits you’ve practiced for years.
Just show up.
Recently I was feeling like maybe I’m not doing enough to achieve my goals because of my inconsistency. I was getting overwhelmed thinking about all the things I should/could be doing to get faster results, but you can’t rush success. As I was working on this blog, I was thinking about a podcast I was listening to and how the speaker mentioned that you have to show up for yourself and do your personal best each day. For some reason it really stuck with me the simplicity of that statement; if I just focus on showing up and putting in the work the rest will fall into place. God will see my dedication and my efforts. He will reward me with success and abundance in divine timing. If I’m consistently putting in work, growth is inevitable. How long it takes doesn’t matter, the success is yours if you are giving energy towards your goals. It felt like a huge relief to let go of the worry and just truly focus on what I can do. I struggle with being consistent so only focusing on showing up makes me feel less overwhelmed. Once I “show up” it is much easier for me to get to work. Everyday is different, and you won’t always be the most productive but at the end of the day you made more progress than you would have if you didn’t show up.
Pay attention to how you’re approaching your goals.
When I took the time to look at the way I’m going about my habit changes, I realized I had to take a few steps back. I kept trying to tackle everything at once and when I wouldn’t accomplish a daily goal I would feel bad for being inconsistent once again. As much as I want to rush and get everything down as soon as possible, it’s not realistic. I was setting myself up for failure by expecting myself to automatically be disciplined with new habits that I’ve never practiced before. I realized I had to approach my goals with a lot more patience. Before jotting down all the things you want to accomplish, you have to see what small tasks you can easily accomplish to steer you to being more productive and self-disciplined. Here was my process that helped sort out my goals and how I’m going to acheive them.
Start at the root of the issue.
If being self-disciplined is tough for you, that’s okay. Tackle that obstacle before you try to accomplish all these things in one week/month/etc.. You really have to start at the root of the issue to allow yourself a better chance at success. Whether it’s trying to make better lifestyle choices or accomplishing any major goals (career, financial, personal etc.) you have to be patient and give yourself grace. You’re not perfect, you won’t always be consistent and productive but it’s the effort that counts.
What are the patterns holding you back from acheiving success?
I journaled on what I do that’s getting in the way becoming self-disciplined. With this exercise you have to be very honest with yourself so that you can be aware of your own behaviors. Once you become more aware, you will be conscious of their negative impact. Really reflect on the little habits and patterns you have that lead you to stay stuck. For example; let’s say I want to be more of a morning person yet I continue to sleep late and set an alarm right beside me. The behaviors holding me back are sleeping late and having my alarm near me making it easy to shut off/snooze. To set myself up for more success, I have to change my habits of sleeping late and put my phone across the room. After writing down what actions are holding you back, replace them with doable healthy practices that will make accomplishing your goals much easier.
Baby steps.
Have your goals written down and prioritize them. I personally numbered them from top priority to least priority. I did this to help me focus on the goals I really want to accomplish the soonest (not quickest!). Then I thought of the ways I can reach those goals and broke those down to even smaller, easier tasks. Set yourself up for success and start with the easy, small tasks. For example; I have been trying to be consistent with my morning routine that consists of all these healthy habits I want to start my day off with. I struggled accomplishing consistency because I would just write down on my planner my morning routine expecting myself to wake up early enough to do it all. So, for one week I broke down my morning routine goal to one specific goal of waking up early. This way I’m giving myself more of a chance to complete something and feel good about myself. Until I get down the habit of waking up early, I can move on to the rest of my morning routine. It may seem too slow or too easy, but what is the rush? You know yourself, and if you know that you have been stuck then changes have to be made. There’s nothing wrong with going easy on yourself and taking it slow.
You have to say goodbye to your old self.
People may find resistance when trying to become self-disciplined because they can’t seem to give up or minimize the little habits that contribute to an unhealthy lifestyle. I am one of those people still slowly transitioning to a different, more evolved lifestyle. You don’t have to completely remove “unhealthy” habits from your life. They’re only unhealthy if it’s excessive and getting in the way of your growth. Even if some of those unhealthy habits are things you enjoy, you have to do what’s best for you and cut it down or cut it out. I love watching shows and Youtube videos and I have the habit of watching way more than I should. Now, I still make time to relax and watch a show but I keep it at only one episode. If I had already completed what I wanted to do that day, then I’ll watch more. Same with being consistent with this blog; I had to change my ways of watching TV right when I got home from work to going straight to a coffee shop to work on it. If you truly desire a healthier lifestyle then you have to say bye bye to the old you who lacked self-discipline.
You got this.
Becoming self-disciplined is no easy journey and I applaud you for trying to be. You’re definitely not alone in this, I’m currently on this journey as well and going through the motions of really pushing myself. It’s mostly a mental battle that you have to get yourself out of each day. Some days will be easier than others, that’s just life. Don’t let the “bad” days discourage you, get yourself up and keep fucking going.
I know you will acheive your goals, it’s just a matter of when! You have the power to get yourself on the path of success, believe in yourself.
Thank you so much for reading this post and hearing what I have to say. I appreciate it so much. Have a great day/night <3