Learning to be alone can be quite difficult when we live in a society that praises being social. Don’t get me wrong, we are social beings and it’s important to have friends and a support system but it is just as important to be able to be alone and enjoy it.
Learning to be alone is so important. It creates a greater sense of self that is needed in order to evolve and navigate through life and relationships. In this post I will help you know where to start. I’ll give some tips that I practiced to ease myself into the discomfort of being alone in public.
I can finally say I enjoy my own company and it has definitely changed how I feel about myself. I’m not going to lie, there are still things I wouldn’t do alone or hesitate to do alone. That saying, the journey can definitely be uncomfortable at any point, but you won’t grow in your comfort zone. If you are just starting this journey, keep going. You will be so proud of yourself for doing so.
This post is all about the importance of learning to be alone and how to do so.
The Importance of Learning How to Be Alone
I find knowing how to be alone a must on the journey of self improvement. Being alone and actually enjoying it can help you navigate through life and relationships with an abundance mindset, rather than a lack mindset. If you are happy and comfortable being alone and spending time with yourself, you will not have a void that you will try to fill with other people. If you truly enjoy your own company, you will be with people because you truly want to and because they add value to your life and time. You won’t be in relationships out of needing them and you will be able to walk away when they are no good for you.
In addition, being alone gives you time to self-reflect and learn a lot about yourself. Learn about what you want out of life, the type of person you want to be, the things you need to work on, and so on. You are given the time to really focus on yourself and face aspects of yourself that are easily ignored when you are always with others. Facing your flaws isn’t necessarily what a lot of people want to be doing but, if you are committed to your self improvement then you will have to do things that challenge you and make you uncomfortable.
Another pro to learning how to be alone is not having to depend on anyone. Don’t take this as “I’ll stay alone because I’m independent and I don’t need anyone”, it’s actually not very healthy to always be alone. What I’m saying is, if you really want to go somewhere and no one can go, you know you can go on your own. People have their own lives and you won’t always have someone to join you on a trip, event etc.. You don’t want to hold yourself back and miss out on an amazing experience because of others. Being able to do such things alone gives you a feeling of empowerment and confidence that you wouldn’t have expected.
You won’t always have someone to be there for you when you’re sad and going through it. Even though it’s essential to have a support system, at times the people in our lives have their own things going on and we won’t always have a shoulder to lean on. Learning to be alone allows yourself to find comfort in yourself. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to 100% depend on. Be your own best friend and be there for yourself so you won’t become codependent on someone else.
Simple Ways to Ease into Being Alone
To what extent can you handle being alone? Are you okay with being alone in your room/home but when it comes to being alone in public you can’t imagine it? Is being alone at home on a Friday night extremely difficult for you? Is being alone in general a struggle? Answer these questions and reflect on how comfortable you are with being alone. Here are some tips.
1. I can’t even be alone in general.
This is okay, thank you for being honest with yourself. Start simple, don’t try to overwhelm yourself. You can start with taking some of your free time to go and do something without hitting a friend up to join, like running errands or going on a walk or a drive and parking somewhere for a bit. If you can, try making no plans one day and just doing whatever you feel like. You have errands to run? Go and do that. You want to go chill at the park for a bit? You want ice cream? Go ahead. The nice thing about being alone is doing whatever you feel like, not depending on anyone else’s wants.
It’s going to be uncomfortable the first few times but just sit through it. Acknowledge that you are feeling uncomfortable and let it go. Bring yourself back to the present, take three deep breaths. Observe your environment, what do you see? What do you hear, smell? Even if you only do something alone for 5-10 minutes, at least you are trying. Any progress is better than no progress.
2. I can’t handle being alone on a weekend night.
Being alone on a weekend night can be difficult because you feel like you’re missing out and social media doesn’t help with that either. Yet, being alone on a weekend night does not mean you don’t have any plans. Prioritize the time you have with yourself and make plans with yourself! Set up a movie marathon, practice a new hobby, have an arts and crafts activity, dedicate time to learn something new etc. I personally like to smoke weed, put on some nice visuals with music and just vibe. It may not sound like much, but that is a plan because I say so. Setting up things for yourself to do makes you look forward to it and keeps you busy. Delete social media apps for the night or put your phone on ‘do not disturb’.
3. Being alone in public is what I struggle with.
This may be the most common issue for people. Being alone in public when mostly everyone is a couple or in a group can be quite intimidating. This is where you also have to learn not to care what others think. You may realize you care more about what others think more than you thought (at least that’s how it was for me). Again, this is where you will have to bring yourself back into the present once you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or fixated on what others are thinking.
Personally, when I catch myself worrying about how I’m being perceived I say in my head, “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! You think I give a fuck? Cause I don’t!” I know that probably sounds dumb or funny but it’s light hearted and makes me loosen up a bit. Or when I’m feeling embarrassed I repeat in my head, “Embarrassment is not real.” You get to choose whether something is embarrassing or not. If someone else thinks it is, who cares? You’ll never find out what a stranger thinks of you anyways. Only your perception matters!
For some simple and unintimidating ideas to do alone in public, a.k.a. solo dates, read my post 11 Simple Solo Date Ideas|Enjoy Being Alone.
I hope that after reading this you get why it is so important to learn how to be alone. Learning to be alone isn’t just about “not needing anyone” but knowing that at the end of the day you only have yourself, and you are completely okay with that.
I really hope this post helped you in any way. If you’ve gotten this far, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate you!
Wishing you the best on your journey of self growth. Have a great day/night <3