Maybe I’m still going through it but my mind is in a much better place. I haven’t posted in so long, my mind has just been all over the place and I’ve been busy with school.
These past few months I’ve been really feeling the weight of my decision to quit my job and explore other career paths. I’ve had thoughts of doubt, anxiety, worry, failure and confusion. These thoughts and feelings have been lingering in me the whole year tbh. But it was when the school semester started and I still didn’t have a job that the worry really started to consume me. Last month I was really going through it for two weeks. Crying alot and feeling like wtf is my life right now?
This post is all about going through it and what I gained from it.
My mental breakdown rewired my brain
Though it was a really tough period of time where I was focusing so much on the negative, I feel like it was needed. It was a way for me to really let all those emotions and negativity out. It made me realize that I need to relax. It made me aware that these thoughts and feelings are not serving me and are not true. Being made aware of that helped me point out irrational thoughts. Since then, it’s easier for me to knock down negative thoughts and just relax. It’s like my mind realized that overthinking my life and worrying didn’t help me out. So now it’s like what’s the point?
“ Worrying is wishing for something bad to happen.”
If you need to let it all out, do it! We’re human and sometimes we just need a big release to keep it pushing. It’s not realistic to expect ourselves to handle everything calmly. You’ll always bounce back.
I have a lot of unknown in my life and my brain was just trying to protect itself by worrying and overthinking but that does not help and I’m tired of doing that. I was doing it too much to the point where even my brain is done. Sometimes you need to go to extremes to make some change.
*Actually* practicing patience & trust
This whole year I’ve been intending to be patient. With so much change and uncertainty in my life, I’m aware that patience is key. I’m not a patient person with most things so it’s been a struggle. I thought I was practicing patience by just stating that I am but after my little breakdown I realized I was not being patient at all. My actions were showing that I was worrying more than trusting that everything will be okay. How is God supposed to believe that I trust in His plan for me if I’m here questioning everything? There’s a reason why I’m where I’m at. There’s a reason why I made the decisions I did. There’s only so much I can do and I’m trying my best.
The main way I’ve been practicing patience is just constantly reminding myself that everything is working out in my favor when anxious thoughts come up. I think the key to reducing negative thoughts is to redirect them into positive ones every time they come up. Journaling has helped me as well to clear out my mind, as well as writing down affirmations.
Everything I need is already within me.
I will end up where I’m meant to be, no matter what.
I trust myself and my decisions.
I trust in God’s plan for me.
I am worthy of achieving my dream life.
I see these practices as rewiring my brain. If you constantly keep telling yourself something, your brain will believe it. Like I mentioned, redirecting your negative thoughts to positive ones is like training your brain to think more positively. If you want more on this, Jay Shetty’s interview with Joe Dispenza is super helpful. In the interview, Joe Dispenza emphasizes how important it is to train your brain/self to believe in yourself. Many of us deep down don’t believe we can achieve great things which is why we settle and make decisions out of fear/lack.
Count your blessings & Relax
Reminding yourself what you’re grateful for is always a helpful tip to get your mind out of a negative space. We tend to focus on the negative and forget that there’s so many more positives. It really helps to remind yourself how blessed you are.
Better days are coming.
Sometimes we gotta go through a rough patch to be prepared for our blessings and new chapters that are coming our way. Everyone goes through it and has several rough periods in their life. I’ve had my fair share, but this time it was about a different area of my life. The decisions we made, the “mistakes”, and experiences we’ve had this year are leading us to where we’re meant to be.
I’m accepting that this is part of my journey. Life isn’t always going to be smooth sailing. I’m not exactly feeling much happier but I’m going through the motions and not letting fear get me down. A new year is coming and I’m ready for it. Thank you for being here <3