We’re always focusing on how we can change or improve, but gaining self acceptance is what allows us to be happier right now.
For those who aren’t where they want to be in life and stuck on what you want to change… join the mf club.
I think we all could say there’s something we would like to improve or change. But what if we just accepted ourselves for where we’re at with no judgment?
I have been on this journey of self acceptance for what I realize, a couple of years now. It’s taken me a few slumps, breakdowns and lessons to get closer to achieving self acceptance.
Forget the external pressures
There’s pressure from society, our family/friends, and ourselves to be at a certain point in our lives. To be functioning adults that have it all together and know what they want in life. But we all know that’s bullshit, no one truly has it all together. And if they do, it’s taken them years of work to get there. Once you realize your timeline is unique to you, outside pressures seem irrelevant. How can society, your family/friends, or bosses tell you where YOU should be in life? They don’t know the struggles and experiences you’ve had that has led you to this point in life. They might have good intentions, but if you were meant to be at a different point in life you would’ve been. Even if there’s mistakes you’ve made and things you wish you could change, you can’t go and change the past. Focus on the now and what you can do moving forward. Go easy on yourself, there is no one way to do things. Life isn’t picture perfect.
Don’t make decisions for anyone else, do what makes YOU happy. Forget whatever timeline society or your parents have tried to box you in. This is your life and there’s no point in dwelling on where you think you “should” be in life. You’re perfect. Nothing is missing.
Stop worrying about doing the “right” thing
Worrying just creates more resistance to what God/the Universe has in store for you. Things always work out how they’re meant to be. We make mistakes and later learn that we needed those lessons to evolve. Follow your intuition and listen to yourself. Do what makes you happy, even if it scares you. You don’t want to get caught in regret. Know that whatever decision you make with yourself/life, it will either be a lesson or a blessing.
I tend to worry alot about whether I’m making a smart choice or not. It’s like I have a fear of feeling dumb for making the “wrong” choice, I feel shame for not doing better. But what I’m coming to realize is that even if my choice results as a lesson, it doesn’t define my intelligence or worth. Same goes for anyone.
There is no “good” or “bad” (unless you’re deliberately making unhealthy/risky choices ofc). There is no need in labeling things as good or bad. They just are. Try not to automatically attach any label to things. You’re judging yourself if you see your past mistakes as negative occurrences that you regret. Having regret fills you with shame and can lead you stuck in the “what ifs” and the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ves”. It happened, let it go. Whatever it is, you are still worthy of self acceptance, love, peace and happiness.
Self Acceptance: Inside & Out
Inside
Accepting yourself for who you are as a person can be more difficult than accepting our outward appearance. Especially if for years you’ve been made to feel ashamed of certain character traits. My biggest piece of advice is to reassure yourself as much as you can. When you find yourself feeling insecure or ashamed for being a certain way, stop and remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with how or who you are. Accept it, embrace it and own it. Don’t attach a label to whatever it is, it’s neither good or bad. It’s just a part of who you are. Don’t attach yourself to the trait either. It doesn’t define you. You are not the same person at work, with family or with friends. Don’t let people try to define you when they only know the side of you that you show them. Know yourself.
Outside
I get it. It’s easier said than done to fully accept your physical appearance. I could go on about the fact that you’re unique and all the things you consider flaws are what makes you even more special, but it’s up to you to believe it.
You can acknowledge the parts of you that you would rather change and still accept yourself. Self acceptance isn’t just forcing yourself to say you’re beautiful in the mirror, it’s showing love to the parts you’re insecure of. Think about what or who made you insecure of your looks in the first place. How would you feel about yourself if no one commented on the way you look? If society didn’t praise a certain standard? Give love and comfort to your inner child that became insecure of their looks due to the opinions of others. For more information on self compassion, read How to Practice Self Compassion.
You can work toward changing your looks or pay for that surgery, but don’t expect it to fill a void. Accepting and loving yourself for how you are at this moment is what matters. If you’re seeking fulfillment out of your outward appearance and the validation it attracts, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
Affirmations
- All that I need is within me right now.
- I embrace all parts of me.
- I accept myself as I am in this moment.
- I am inherently worthy of love, happiness and peace.
- I am beautiful inside and out.
- I am capable, powerful and unstoppable.
- I always have something different to offer when I stay true to myself.
- There is no one else like me.
- I stay true to my authentic self.
- I am unapologetically me.
- I am meant to be in this stage of my life, my journey is unique to me.
Self acceptance lessons I’ve learned so far
My self acceptance journey is ongoing, and I feel like I’ve only really started to intentionally accept myself as I am earlier this year. I’ve been put into triggering situations that forced me to self reflect on why they were triggering in the first place. It has not been a walk in the park.
- There will be many triggering situations that bring out your insecurities.
- It took me several instances of discomfort and insecurity to get past aspects of myself that I felt ashamed of. During these instances I had to show myself compassion, show love to my inner child and reassure myself that I am not perfect.
- These instances happened over time and those insecurities don’t magically go away.
- Reminding yourself every time that there is no shame in who you are is key.
- The times you are stuck in an unhealthy cycle of negative self talk and lack of productivity are the times you need to show self acceptance and compassion.
- I was stuck on self improvement mode that when I started to fumble and fall into old habits, I felt shitty and focused on what I was doing wrong.
- When I decided to stop beating myself up and accept myself for the stage I’m in, it was much easier to shift my perspective and get into motion again.
- Life and your mindset is like an endless ride of major or minor highs and lows. Accept all of it.
- I was stuck on trying to always be consistent and productive, but now I realize you have to go with the flow of what life throws at you. You won’t always feel the most energetic or happy, and there’s things out of your control that impact your wellbeing.
- Each day just do your personal best, check in with yourself and see what you can do to make a postive difference. No matter how small.
Give yourself grace.
Life is hard as it is, don’t make it harder by being tough on yourself. Have self discipline but also give yourself grace and don’t force anything. Release judgement and do what makes you happy.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I wish you the best and have a great day/night <3