While on your healing journey, it’s important to remind yourself that your healing journey is unique to you.
With the endless amount of self help accounts on social media sharing their own point of view on “how to heal” it can be overwhelming and confusing. You might start to question whether you’re doing enough or the “right” things, I definitely do.
Here are some things I tell myself and would tell a friend in moments of doubt on their healing journey.
Remember…
You are inherently worthy.
You are worthy of abundance, love and blessings no matter what you’re doing. You are worthy for making it through another day. Your worth doesn’t depend on your productivity or lack of it. Having an off day, reacting irrationally, or falling into an unhealthy pattern doesn’t make you any less worthy of love and care.
Healing is not linear.
There will be days where you feel like you have not made progress and there will be days where you have major breakthroughs. It’s cliche, but your healing journey is like a rollercoaster and those lows will eventually be followed by highs.
You are human, it’s normal to have periods of consistency and also periods of inconsistency. At times, situations occur in your life that make it harder to be consistent and productive, and that’s okay. You will not always be at your best, it’s not realistic. Just don’t stop trying to improve, any small effort is better than no effort.
You know better, but may not do better.
It’s hard to unlearn healthy patterns and habits! You may be more aware that certain habits or decisions are unhealthy, but if you’ve been doing them for a long time/your whole life it’s not going to be that easy to stop. Especially for those habits that bring immediate gratification (getting drunk/high, hookup culture, eating junk food). Give yourself grace, atleast now you are aware of the fact that you should limit these habits. You don’t have to completely quit if you don’t want to, life is about balance.
Whatever it is, if you truly learned your lesson, you wouldn’t even be close to making that bad decision. Sometimes you will have to make the same mistake several times until it really gets through to you that you need to stop. It’s all part of the process.
Triggers are your teachers.
Those moments where you feel triggered and brought back to a place where you don’t want to be, just take the moment as a reminder of what you need to work on. There’s no need to judge your reactions or emotions, just have gratitude for the trigger teaching you more about yourself and your wounds. We are all human and have our moments. The fact that you are aware of your trigger shows that you are on the right path.
Don’t force anything.
There’s many practices to help you on your healing journey, like meditation, yoga, journaling etc. but if you honestly don’t feel aligned with those practices then you don’t need to do them! Sure they might be very helpful practices, but if you’ve tried and you can’t seem to get into them then don’t force it. It’s not authentic if you’re doing it just for the sake of doing it.
There is no “right or wrong” way to heal.
There are countless ways to heal and improve yourself. You don’t have to do all the tips that you see online in order to heal. You don’t have to go to the extreme and completely dedicate everything you do to self improvement. Find what practices, resources, and role models align with you and continue to put in the work to better yourself. That’s all.
In terms of specific practices that require consistency to have affect like meditation, yoga and exercise, you don’t have to do them exactly the way someone else does them. Meditation isn’t just sitting with your eyes closed for 20 minutes. It can simply be pausing throughout your day to take a few deep breaths and observe what you see and how you feel at the moment. Yoga isn’t just an hour class at a yoga studio. It can be a 15 minute youtube video of stretching, conscious breathing and being aware of your body. Exercise can be an at home workout or a class at your gym. Don’t stress about what is the “best” or “right” way to do things, what do you feel is best for you and your goals?
Some progress is better than no progress.
Healing is a part of life. Even when you’re not journaling, reflecting, (or whatever you consider healing practices) you are still making progress. Each day you can have a random realization, step out of your comfort zone, or do one healthy habit. The small moments matter just as much as the big ones.
Everyone is different. You know yourself better than anyone.
This is important to remember when you are receiving advice on how to go about your healing journey. Some things may work for someone else, but that doesn’t mean they will work for you. So try it out, but don’t feel bad if it doesn’t help you.
Also, you are the only one that knows your experiences first hand. You know how you felt at the moment and how you were affected. Everyone is different and responds to situations differently. Some people can handle more and some can’t, that’s completely fine. Don’t let others invalidate your emotions and experiences. They are only speaking from what they have experienced and how they perceive things.
You are not better than anyone for being more self aware.
Stay humble! Don’t forget you were also at that stage in your life where you weren’t self aware and projected your wounds. Be mindful that they have some healing to do, but don’t put yourself above them because you also have some healing to do. You are not above anyone, and no one is above you.
Everyone is on their own divine timing.
This relates to the previous point. Just like you are on your own timing of your healing journey, so are those who haven’t “started” yet. It is simply not their time to start their healing journey, and you shouldn’t try to convince them to either. It’s best for people to begin their journey when they are ready, and that will happen on their own divine timing.
It’s impossible to compare your healing journey to others’.
Just like it is mentioned above, everyone is on their own divine timing. You are at a stage in your life because that is where you are meant to be at the moment with what you have experienced and learned.
If you start to compare your healing journey with another’s, just remember that you are completely different people with your own experiences, genetics, and circumstances that have shaped you into the people you are today. You also have no idea what they have endured that led them to where they are in their life, and vice versa.
You are not your trauma, wounds and/or pain.
Being very self aware can be overwhelming when you are working on any trauma/wounds you have. It can feel like you’re broken or have too many issues. The pain you have experienced is valid and has a role in the person you are today, but it does not define you. You have so many other amazing qualities that overpower the hurt you have endured and the “negative” affects from it. Your experiences are just the cards you have been dealt, but now you have the power to alchemize your pain. Turn that pain into resilience, wisdom, empathy and compassion.
There is no rush. Healing is an endless journey.
There is no need to rush and try to face all your wounds head on. Most of the time, breakthroughs happen when you don’t expect them. If you’re focused on getting over something like it’s a homework assignment, you’ll just be in your head about it.
Appreciate your journey for whatever stage you are in. No one is ever “completely healed”. You are always going to be learning about yourself and faced with challenges that push you to be a different version of yourself. You are always going to be evolving.
This post was all about what to remember while on your healing journey to keep yourself grounded and reassured.
Trust the process. You’re doing just fine.
Healing is definitely not easy, so I’m proud of you for prioritizing yourself and putting in the work. Enjoy the highs and the lows of your healing journey, they’re all part of the human experience.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and I hope this has helped you! Wish you the best, have a good day/night! <3